Orion had a particularly bad day. My goodness. It pains me to even recount but I'm sure it won't read nearly as bad as it was. Written down they always sound like regular tantrums. But in person, most people would think "Man, that kid is beyond crazy and needs to be sedated."
It started out as a regular day. Orion woke up at around 7:00 AM and came into our room to play computer while I (Mommy) attempted to sleep. He happily played Charlie and Lola for a bit until he wanted to crawl into the bed with me and snuggle. We briefly watched some TV that he was bored by so we went downstairs for breakfast.
After breakfast, Orion was obsessively cutting out little squares of paper and coloring on them. He has been doing this for about a week now and can't stop himself. He makes little story books or sometimes mini greeting cards. Sometimes he cuts out little post cards. It seems harmless and good for building fine motor skills so we have allowed him to continue. But we did think it was starting to become more of an obsession rather than play time. He would do it all day if allowed.
It was nearing the time that we needed to leave for church so John got some clothes for Orion and put them on him. Orion was annoyed about being distracted from his mini paper projects but he tolerated it. But then John realized that the shirt was too small and didn't look good on Orion so he returned with a new shirt and sweater. He tried to tell Orion he was going to change his shirt again and Orion just flipped out. He started screaming, hitting, flailing. He was out-of-control and there was no reeling him back in. John tried restraining him to no avail. He tried a quick spanking. No effect. The tantrum continued to escalate and we soon knew that church was no longer an option. John then took Orion upstairs to his bedroom to cool off, as per my suggestions. He held the door shut while Orion tore around the room causing a huge fuss. It continued for at least 10 minutes but he eventually calmed down after John repeatedly checked on him and placed him in the blue chair in his room. He came downstairs and we loaded everyone in the car because we had already told Orion we were going to the car. Follow through is very important. But without our childcare worker, who has quit due to personal issues, we were unable to force him to go to church.
So, that was the morning meltdown. It was a mild one compared to what was to come later in the afternoon.
It was about 3:30pm and Orion was playing with Lincoln Logs contently on the floor. Then he told me that he wanted to play computer and he wanted me to watch him. So, I agreed but told him he needed to pick up the Lincoln Logs. He reluctantly agreed and started the task. But he kept losing focus. I kept returning and saying "Orion, before we can play computer you need to pick up the Lincoln Logs". He started and stopped repeatedly for about 30 minutes until I jumped in and said I'd help him. I told him that I'd pick up equal amounts as he did. If he put 2 in the box I'd put 2 in the box. We started the clean-up but then Orion picked up the box and dumped all of the Lincoln Logs out on the floor in frustration. I told him that I was not going to help him pick-up anymore. He made the mess and he was to clean it. He refused. He screamed "NO. I DON'T HAVE TO PICK UP THE LINCOLN LOGS. YOU DO IT (pointing at me)" John walked in during this and reprimanded Orion for talking to Mommy so rudely and demanded an apology. Orion didn't apologize and didn't pick up. Thus the war began.
Orion proceeded to scream, kick, hit, throw, and generally be non-compliant about clean-up. Each time he tried to leave the room or area I swiftly brought him back to the rug for clean-up. Each time I did he got more and more angry. I told him calmly and nicely that this all could end if he just picked up the Lincoln Logs. He continued to kick and scream and be defiant for another HOUR AND A HALF! I remained as calm as possible and even tried to quietly encourage him with words like "You can do it, Orion. I know you can. You can pick these up. You are good at picking up Lincoln Logs. Give it a try." He didn't care. A few times he broke down crying and sobbing and said it was too hard. I comforted him with my words and said "I know it is Buddy. But you can do it." He wanted me to hug or hold him but I refused. That would have been a reward and he was to have no reward until the task was complete. He cycled in and out of sobbing, screeching at the top of his lungs insults and demands, and zoning out on the floor.
Finally I had had enough of it. I needed to put an end to it. I gave him an ultimatum. I set thirty minutes on his visual timer and also the egg timer and told him he needed to have the Lincoln Logs cleaned up by then or I would put them in the trash. He argued. "NO MOMMY! DON'T PUT THEM IN THE TRASH. NO!!!!". But still, he was not moved to action. Then when there was about 15 minutes left he started to pick some up. John and I applauded and told him he was doing such a good job. But then he stopped and started more refusal. I warned him as the minutes ticked by. Still he refused. Finally the time had lapsed and I was forced to follow through. I put all of the Lincoln Logs (which took me less than one minute to pick up and we'd been doing this for a total of 2 hours now!) in a trash bag, put my shoes on, and headed out to the trash bin with them. Orion was distraught. He tried to go outside but we stopped him. He cried and said he wanted them back. I held him and told him I was very sorry but this was the choice he made. I think he really thought if he cried enough we'd bring back the Lincoln Logs. We did not.
He ate dinner, played computer, took a bath, read some books, and went to bed nicely with no mention of the Lincoln Logs. But the next morning he asked where the Lincoln Logs were and I said "I'm sorry Buddy, they are gone". He was sad but just whined a little and started making more mini greeting cards.
Lesson learned? One can never tell with Orion.
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