PREVIOUSIt was a dreary and rainy day in Olympia. We were all a bit groggy and feeling slightly under the weather but needed to get out of the house for a spell. So, we decided to go to Tumwater Falls to see the Salmon hatchery. This was a seemingly simple family outing. Seemingly being the key word.
It was raining buckets by the time we were ready to depart and I dug out my serious rain slicker that I bought years ago in NYC for down pours just like this. Upon inspection of Orion's regular coat I decided that he needed something a bit more weatherproof. I dug out a rain coat that we bought for him a while back. It was a simple, rubber-like coat. The typical rain coat you see with matching boots for kids. Nothing odd. Nothing itchy or stinky (to our knowledge).
We told Orion "Let's go see the jumping fish". And he said "Okay Mommy" with glee and wonderment. Then I said "Let's put on your new rain coat". Suddenly the world fell apart. "No, I said no rain coat Mommy!" "How about this coat?" he says holding up the usual, barely water-resistant one. "No honey, it's raining too hard for that coat. This is a lovely blue coat. Let's have you wear this one". "NO!" he demands. "I don't want to see fish. I don't want rain coat. I say no outside".
Okay...now we have been told that we need to stand our ground once we've announced we are doing something. Follow through is immensely important or else what we say holds no value. John and I lock eyes and realize we are in it and we aren't backing down. Yes, it's inconsequential whether we see the fish or not. But our parenting skills are at risk here so we must forge ahead.
I wrestle with getting Ollie in his coat and strapped into his car seat. He starts crying a bit complicating our brains. Now we have both kids fussing but Orion is clearly the louder, more insistent one.
I then zip Orion into his coat while he squirms, screams, unzips, and wriggles out. I persist. He persists. I persist. He persists. The coat comes on and off numerous times. Finally I muscle him into the coat, scoop him up while restraining him, announce to John that I'm taking Orion to the minivan and whisk him out the door. He screams the whole walk from house to driveway. Certainly the neighbors can hear, but at this point they should know full well about the madness and noise in our home. I try and ignore it.
I force Orion into his car seat. In the midst of this John appears with Oliver. I beckon for his help in strapping our fighting child into his seat. Then off we go. Orion is still screaming and kicking as we pull out of the driveway. Ollie is crying in his car seat too. There is nothing but noise and chaos. John says "Where are we going?" and I blurt out "Oh just drive!"
We drive. Orion says "I SAY NO COAT. I WANT NO COAT. TAKE IT OFF!!!!". I, in the calmest and most chipper voice I can muster repeat over and over to him "It's okay honey. Oh it's okay". We drive in circles within a mile radius of our house hoping the drive will calm him. It does not. We drive further. Still no calm.
Finally it's so out of control that we must address Orion's crazed behavior. John shouts "STOP", Orion persists with yelling. John announces calmly that if Orion doesn't stop we will pull the van over and he will get a spanking. Orion decides to see if he means business and screams LOUDER. John pulls over, turns around calmly, and spanks Orion on the thigh. We couldn't unstrap him at this juncture because we'd never get him back in the car seat so the thigh is the only spanking option. Orion pouts at the sting of the spanking but persists...slightly quieter. John warns again of another spanking if the yelling continues. Orion continues. A second spanking to the thigh is administered. John asks if he wants another and Orion pouts but says "No". Now he is quieter in his seat but still doing the dry heave, wimper cry. We ask if he wants to take a big breath (a calming technique we use with him) and he says yes. We all take deep breaths together. Orion asks for more breaths so we take more.
He starts to calm down and we both excitedly praise him for his quietness and calm. "Good job Orion. Good job being quiet. We are so proud of you". Orion says in a calm and quiet voice "But I want to take the coat off". I say "Yes, honey...I know. When we get home we can take it off. But first we are going to see the jumping fish. Do you want to see the fish". "No Mommy, I want to go home. I want to take it off." Orion begs. "Well, we aren't going home until we see the fish. You can stay in the car or you can get out and see the fish but only if you are quiet." I say.
John then asks if I have any bribes in my purse. Digging, I find some swedish fish. Halloween candy that didn't quite make it to halloween. How appropriate...a fish reward for seeing the jumping fish...as if we planned it that way.
"Orion, if you are a good boy, if you are quiet, no screaming or crying when we see the fish, you can have a special red fish when we get back in the car" I dangle the red candy within view. "I want special red fish Mommy". "Okay honey, let's go see the jumping fish. Then if you have been good, once we are back in the car you can have the special red fish." "Okay Mommy".
We unload and puddle jump our way over to the fish hatchery. The salmon are huge. They jump and twist before our eyes and Orion loves it. He laughs and jumps excitedly, completely forgetting about the dreaded rain coat he is wearing. A man approaches offering us special 3D glasses to view the fish. We take them and he begins to inform us all about the Chinook Salmon. He has a parks department jacket so he's not just some random dude with fish knowledge. We listen in the cold rain and finally decide it's too darn cold for us sickies to be out in this blustery weather. We hop back to the car while promising the special red fish in order to coax Orion into leaving.
Once in the car he gets the special red fish and chews it with glee. "I want more special red fish Mommy" he says. "Well, when we get home, if you are still quiet and calm you can have another". "Okay Mommy" he says in his chipper voice. Then in a quiet voice he says "But I want to take the rain coat off. I want to take it off Mommy. Can I take the rain coat off? I want to take it off Mommy. I said no rain coat. I want to take it off". he pleads. "Orion" I say sternly "You better be quiet or there will be no more special red fish. You can take off the jacket when we get home". "Okay Mommy. But I want to take it off" he says persistently. Uhhhh...really??? Hmmm...I can't remember...did he mention that before??? (sarcasm).
We make it home. Orion skips back to the house, down the sidewalk, holding Mommy's hand. We don't know when we will take out the dreaded rain coat again but we suspect we will do it again soon. It's all about who's in control and we want that to be us!
