CAUSING A SCENE AT CHURCH!

NEXT
Since this is my first post on this new blog I feel like I should explain. I created this blog because it's the real, raw truth about raising a kid on the autism spectrum and also an infant with health issues (Laryngomalacia).

In our main blog (www.orionandollie.com) I show cute pictures with short, happy tails of life. I don't want to alarm anyone too much. It's all neatly tied up with a bow to please elderly relatives and easily offended people. But this blog is for the real truth. The unedited tails of trauma and triumph in parenting our kids. It will likely be cathartic for me and help me keep tabs on where we once were and how far we've come.

So...lets start with today! Today is Sunday and we got ready for our afternoon church service as usual. Orion has a special helper at church, Motorcycle Bob. He is a volunteer that raised two foster kids with autism. He also is a former special ed. teacher so he can handle all that Orion can dish out...we hope!

This morning Orion started in on the protests very early. Shortly after breakfast I said something to John about changing Oliver's outfit to get him ready for church. As soon as Orion heard the word "church" he started saying. "We're not going to church, I say no church, first we play cars, then we go to store. I say no church". He's really into this picture schedule thing we do. He likes to know what's happening and in what order. So, he thought maybe he'd suggest his way out of the church idea. Well, it wasn't working.

Also, let me mention that this past week we started an intensive therapy called ABA. That stands for Applied Behavior Analysis. This therapy really pushes Orion and basically we try to get him to submit to authority and to control his tantrums and out-of-control anxieties. Well, it's all about Orion knowing that he must do as told and that he won't die from what he's required to do. So....the church thing was no exception.

He continued to follow me around the house barking orders at me and ramping up his tantrum as I tried to get ready for church. I could not think clearly and it was hard to get ready. I couldn't find a hairbrush or comb anywhere but I wasn't going to let that deter me from my mission. I combed my hair with a fork! Yep, what do I care? Our mission is not to look good. It's to get Orion to church to show him that his tantrums will not control our lives. So, I improvised, adapted, and overcame...as John would say.

We got Orion in the minivan and strapped in. He protested the whole drive. He even tried doing it our way by using a happy voice in protesting. "Mommy...how 'bout no church, how 'bout we go to the store" with a happy little upturn in his voice. Then he tried the 'my basic needs are being denied' tactic. "Mommy, Orion wants to take a nap. No church Mommy. Orion wants to take a nap". As we got closer and closer to the church the niceness turned to whining. Then the whining turned to yelling. Once we pulled into the parking lot the yelling turned to yelling, throwing, kicking, and flailing.

We ignored it all. John and I put on a united front. We agreed that I would take Orion in the door because he sometimes is nicer with Mommy. I muscled him out of the car seat with much protest. With the minivan door open everyone within a one mile radius could hear his screaming. Everyone stared. Some people glared. We ignored it.

I held Orion's arms and legs so that he could not injure me too much on the approach to the front door. He managed to get in a few good hair pulls but nothing that won't grow back. People were all gathered in the foyer of the church waiting to get seated. They all stared. I don't blame them. How could you not stare? He was screeching at the TOP of his lungs as if we were burning him with a hot poker. I whisked him past everyone into the child care area and found Motorcycle Bob. He looked at me with a sympathetic smile as if to say..."I've been there before".

"Tough morning?" Bob said. "Oh he's been this way since long before we got in the door" I say. Then I beg him to take Orion outside to the play toys to cool off even though it's raining. He agrees and John, Oliver and I vanish to church as quickly as possible.

At the end of church we return to the child care room to find a calm Orion stuffing a graham cracker in his face. Aarrggg! Orion is on a strict gluten free / casein free diet which I had explained to the child care but it must have slipped past them. (no wheat or dairy) It's called a GFCF diet and many kids on the autism spectrum are on it because they have allergies and tend to focus and behave better on this diet. We don't know if Orion has allergies but are just trying the diet as an experiment. Anyway, it didn't seem that he self-destructed after the graham cracker so we hope it's okay.

So...that was our morning. Thankfully Oliver slept through the whole church service and was calm throughout the rest of the morning.

Now they are both napping and we are cleaning and getting ready for upcoming homegroup.

That's our true story for today! More later.